FUCK DELRAN Volume 1
Biting, Elbows - A real heart breaker.

The town that plays as Cinnaminson's foil. The Megatron to my Optimus Prime. The Skeletor to my He-Man. The AIDS to my non-AIDS. Aside from the "Duba Vs. Duda" story brilliantly recounted from Big Jim's blog, there was more to that night than he told. The Duba vs. Duda rivalry culminated at the JV level. Since I was such a trusted and well-rounded Cinnaminson wrestling veteran, I was picked to go up to the varsity level for that night as well. I guess my coaches could not resist the Duba Vs. Duda match. Had Delran been smart, which they aren't, they would have made Duda wrestle varsity. All news outlets would have jumped on that story, most notably CN-8 (in which Big Jim was soon featured as a scholar athlete). They missed the money making boat on that one.

Anywho, after my losing effort, Larry "The Barnburner" Rooney was up next. Now, let's just get into some backstory here. Larry was "THAT GUY." He is good hearted/intentioned today, but back then he was a bit of a smart ass. One time he actually got punched in the face in the middle of our after-practice sprints. Back to 1996. Larry was in his senior year. He was good, too, underestimated by many people. He was GOOD. So, he is wrestling, pretty well might I add, and then all of a sudden he gets turned over. Afraid to be pinned as he knew how crucial his match was to our success, his best option wasn't a complicated or a powerful move. No, it was in his mouth. He bit the dirty bear as he pinned Larry. When the kid got off him he came up holding his stomach. A photo later revealed that Larry bit so hard that a flap of skin hung off the kid. Cinnaminson of course was deducted 1 team point. Don't you think that Delran should have received a point deduction as well from the kid making himself delicious enough to eat? C'mon.

So, everybody else goes through the match and we get to the heavyweights. Man did we have a heavyweight. His name was Shawnassy (I don't know how to spell it, but for respect to him I will rever to him as Sean). Let's just say one time he had to cut weight to make heavyweight (max weight of 275 pounds). One time he stepped on the scale in our pre-match weigh in at Rancocas Valley and the other team together said "Damn." [Side note-I heard Sean is doing well and in shape-please don't kill me.] Any way, he was wrestling a decent heavyweight. When Sean could get on a roll, he was dominant. If somebody took him down first it was disaster. The match went back and forth. Eventually the dirty bear took Sean down. We thought all was lost. Then unexplicably and beyond the limits of biology, anatomy, physics, and some mathematical properties, Sean completed a 45 second stand up to escape. However, said dirty bear had a reverse bear hug on Sean. Sean flailed and twisted to escape and in an unfortunate event, Sean's elbow made contact with that dirty bear's head. I personally don't think it was bad or 100% intentional. The dirty bear dropped...HARD. He played the role of JFK to Sean's elbow bullet. Sean was disqualified and once again Cinnaminson was deducted one team point. The final score? Delran 33, Cinnaminson 32. Revenge would be had later that school year when Duba shit in the Delran visiting track lockerroom sink.